Some good news! I needed a (hopefully) short term pickup for Arraez. Was able to roster Noelvi Marte as a straight pickup, whose first (only?) week for me was .400-2-8-3.

In Max Kepler's first week on my bench, he went 8-20 (.400) with 1 HR, 2 RBI and 4 BB. In my lineup he went .217-1-4 in 19 games. I have Kepler and McCutchen (.276-3-10-1) on my bench if anyone needs an OF!

They know, F-me edition: Nick Lodolo goes to Coors. Leaving him in would be crazy. On bench 7 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 W

Desperate for innings, I pick up a starter who has more walks than strikeouts which as we know is the ultimate recipe for disaster.

It is meant to be a roster spot of pain. https://youtube.com/shorts/b_iVJDksf_A?si=qf95Kq9itkO8dZM6

Yeah, Joe, good thing you jettisoned Mantiply so that you could enjoy those great Alexis Diaz stats, right?

Joe, the warning is hidden in Mantiply’s name, but it’s wrong to blame the victim. What address shall we send something soothing to?

Oh please. Tim I must call you out for offering your kind service to Mr. Mikey. If you are seeking person in need of care I give you the Sith Lords. Seeking to be more active we made the mistake of picking up Joe Mantiply. I was unaware that “Mantiply” in Spanish means: He who will mercilessly will destroy your anus. To wit: in a scant 7.33 IP gave up 20 hits, 2 walks and 13 Earned Runs. He is a criminal worthy of no due process- send him back to whatever godless country he immigrated from. Trumpify him. Please send me the number to the hotline.

Operators are standing by, Mike. Do you need the support line number?

Desperate for innings, I pick up a starter who has more walks than strikeouts which as we know is the ultimate recipe for disaster.