Alek Manoah. I guess Geoff knows what he's doing

Torkelson hits HR No. 1!

A few owners have questioned my recent trade with Mike. Well, last Friday in "Recent News for my Team" I happened across this: "Mason Miller working on balking problem." "Hmm," I thought. So I read further. "Mason Miller has been having an issue coming to a set position prior to deliver a pitch due to an overwhelming need to scratch his genital region. A's pitching coach Scott Emerson said: 'Look, it is an unusual situation. Mason spent some time with Trevor Bauer in Mexico and suddenly he had an issue...down there. We've tried all of the available remedies but to no avail. He's a pro, he'll figure it out." When asked about the itch, Miller said, "Fu@k'n Bauer, I always wondered why he twitched so much on the mound. Hey, it's a problem, it's an itch: it must be scratched."

Torkelson turned it on in the 2nd half last year. Feel free to trade him to us around July 1.

If anyone is passing through Detroit; please let Mr. Torkelson know that the season has, in fact, started.

My team batting average is .222 - I was under the mistaken impression that I was drafting professional hitters….uggh

Why haven't we slipped from 1st place? Because of Emerson HanCOCK

You get what you pay for. He’s probably 65.

There's a reason Moncada went for 30 cents or whatever you paid, Joe! He's been hurt ever since his 25-HR season.

Changing ny name to: "Holeee FuK and Soroka"